Three Burning Questions

Through the eyes of a child.

cooterdoodle
December 27, 2025

It wasn't the burning questions of "Is Santa real?" that threw me off my game on Christmas Day. No, no, noooo. Instead, I had to spend the holiday explaining to my kid over hot cocoa why Jared Goff, a man who is supposed to "throw touchdowns," kept dropping the ball and throwing it to the wrong team.

And that's when it happened. The question I was dreading all day long: "Mommy, who is Max Brosmer?" Well, darling. I don't know how to say this, but he's … He's a winner.

Do you know how tough it is to watch the NFL through the eyes of the innocent?! So I figured I'd get ahead of the inevitable. Here are three more burning questions that I anticipate having to answer this weekend. Because my kid is really starting to like this whole football thing (Thank you, Santa).

Week 17: Through the eyes of a kid.

NYG vs LV: "Um, is 2-13... Bad?"

Sunday, NFL fans enter our Clockwork Orange Era as our eyes are clamped open and we're forced to watch the most meaningless game of the slate.

The Giants and Raiders are both 2-13 (ew), out of the playoffs (duh), and just fighting to not be the worst professional team in f*cking football.

One team will find out what it's like to win a third game, while the other enters into a 10-week losing streak. The only silver lining:

The Giants are allowing the second-most rushing yards (121.9) per game to RBs
The Raiders are allowing the second-most rushing TDs per game to RBs.

So, maybe just maybe, we can at least watch Ashton Jeanty and Tyrone Tracy go full juggernaut mode on Sunday in this good for nothing, meaningless matchup.

SEA vs CAR: "What's an upset? Is someone mad?"

Look, we all know the Jets (3-12) won't be beating the Patriots (12-3) this weekend. Buttt the Seahawks were just 3 little points away from losing to the Colts two weeks ago during the Return of Philip Rivers.

So there's a world where the Panthers—who beat the Rams, by the way!—could take Seattle down in an upset. The Seahawks may be 1st in the NFC West, but Carolina is in the hunt. And they're fighting tooth and nail (fang and claw?) to stay on top of the Buccaneers and secure the lead in the NFC South.

But I will admit, with defensive stats like these:

SEA is allowing the fourth fewest rushing yards per game to RBs
SEA is allowing the fifth fewest yards per game to WRs
CAR is allowing the eighth fewest passing TDs per game to QBs
CAR allowing eighth fewest TDs per game to WRs
CAR is allowing the 10th fewest receptions per game to WRs

The biggest upset just might be all of us having to watch a low-scoring game.

Maybe Rashid Shaheed can keep the special teams TDs going … Momma needs something to root for.

ARI vs CIN: "What does 'Taking The Overs' mean?"

Listen up. The Bengals are allowing the most TDs (1), the most receptions (7) and the most receiving yards (90.8) per game to the TE position this season.

The most. In the entire league! And this week, they have to try and stop Trey McBride.

And it won't be easy. Trey McBride has:

Finished as a Top-5 or better TE in more than half his games this season
Caught over 6.5 receptions in more than half of his games this season
Caught over 71.5 yards in more than half of his games this season

And all of these dominating stats come from NFL teams that aren't allowing the most TDs, receptions and receiving yards to TEs this season.

So, yea. Mommy is taking the overs, sweetheart.

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Fantasy

Editors’ Picks

You made it to the championship, yay! No time to slow your roll. Our great content will guide you to an optimal lineup. Also, don’t miss the Week 17 rankings, Xfinity Best Projections, Game Model and Start/Sit tool. And ICMYI, these information-packed articles are must reads:

Fantasy

WR/CB Matchups: Chris Olave is the No. 1

One of pleasant surprises of the Saints’ 2025 season is how Chris Olave has evolved into a true WR1. Just check this week’s rankings. Chris Allen pointed out that Olave’s percentage of slot routes has grown to a healthy rate, as has his number of targets over the middle of the field. And as Olave has become the Saints’ version of Ja’Marr Chase, he faces a Titans defense that will be very inviting during championship week:

“Olave has the talent, but we also need the situation for a receiver to succeed. And there’s not a much better game environment than facing the Titans (unless you’re the injury-riddled Chiefs). Outside of last week, Tennessee has allowed at least one WR to reach 15 or more PPR points in a single game and seven TDs to the position since their bye. Assuming Olave continues to headline the Saints’ aerial attack in Week 17, he should be a top-12 option at the position.”

Olave is just one of the WR/CB matchups to target for Week 17, and even includes one WR facing quite the challenge as you play for your league’s title.

Fantasy

Target the Patriots DST for Your Fantasy Title

Sometimes, picking a DST is as easy as targeting the teams with the worst offenses manned by inexperienced quarterbacks. Case in point the Patriots facing the Jets and Brady Cook, as Jonathan Fuller pointed out in this week’s DST Streamers:

“Last week, the New Orleans Saints were featured in this article and they delivered with a massive 19 fantasy point performance on the back of eight sacks and two turnovers. Cook has been a sack and turnover machine, with six interceptions and 17 sacks taken in just three games.

“The Jets have fully imploded while the Patriots are riding high and battling for the No. 1 overall seed in the AFC. New England is currently favored by 13.5 points and that might not be a wide enough spread.”