This Season Was Pure Cinema

I’ve never believed those silly “the NFL is scripted” conspiracies. Mostly because that would require WAY too many people to keep their traps shut about it, but also because it usually sounds like sour grapes from someone who’s upset about their team losing.

But I’ve gotta say, this season was stuffed to the brim with compelling storylines. And many of them really do seem to be ripped directly from Hollywood’s favorite tropes.

Such as …

Trope #1: Turning Back the Clock

I love movies where old folks get a new lease on life. Like the ‘80s sci-fi classic Cocoon, a film about senior citizens who get infused with youthful energy thanks to a swimming pool full of alien pods. No, you’re not high (probably), that’s really the plot. 

It reminds me of Derrick Henry. After a slow start, Henry must’ve taken a long soak in his own fountain of youth to emerge as the RB2 during the fantasy playoffs. Not only did the 30-something help a lot of folks secure a fantasy championship (hi, cooterdoodle), he also broke the NFL record for most career games with 200+ rushing yards and cracked the Top 10 in career rushing yards. The healing magic of alien pool water, y’all! 

Then there’s Matthew Stafford, who was drafted outside the Top 20 at the position thanks to a mysterious preseason back injury and general age concerns. Well, he’s now leading the league in passing touchdowns with a career-high mark. Dude went straight from the cryochamber to the list of league winners. (Even if his last performance might leave a bad taste.)

And speaking of old people…

Trope #2: Coming Out of Retirement for One Last Job

This is easily one of my favorite movie tropes. Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven. Nicolas Cage in Gone in 60 Seconds. Will Forte in MacGruber …

And now we can add Philip Rivers to that list. The 44-year-old gunslinger was coaxed away from his coaching career for one last dance with the Colts. It probably wasn’t the triumphant return he’d hoped for, but he did heave the ball for 277 yards and a pair of touchdowns in Week 16, which helped at least a few Alec Pierce managers advance in their fantasy playoffs.

For that, we’re grateful.

Trope #3: He’s All That

Remember when every other movie in the ‘90s included some kind of “geek to chic” transformation? You know, where the “nerdy” girl with glasses and a ponytail comes out the other side of a montage looking significantly more attractive to the other characters?

Trevor Lawrence may have 20/20 vision and untethered locks, but he got a similar makeover, courtesy of Liam Coen.

Lawrence’s montage moment happened right before Week 12, leading to a five-game streak with multiple TDs and nearly 300 total yards per game. Was that luck? Maybe just a little movie magic? Or is the “new and improved” Lawrence here to stay? As much as I love a good montage, I’m not buying into his Mr. Congeniality metamorphosis.

Trope #4: The Ragtap Group of Misfits Save the Day

I saved the best for last. The most prevalent and enduring trope of all. The Goonies. Armageddon. Guardians of the Galaxy. Heck, The Replacements even did this in the football genre.

But none of them compare to the wild array of outcasts and unknowns that saved the day for fantasy managers this year. Did you know that 50 different running backs had a Top-12 week in PPR? FIFTY! 

Someone could’ve won their league with Rhamondre Stevenson and Kenneth Gainwell, for cryin’ out loud! Michael Wilson came out of nowhere! Parker Washington was a solid play! Kyle Pitts scored 45 freakin’ points to kick off the fantasy playoffs!

And ya know what? I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.