Ready For The Long Haul

First non-football weekend in months is over. It will get easier.

February 17, 2025

Fantasy Life

Feb. 17, 2025
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If you're reading this, it means you’ve survived! (congrats?)

That's right. We have all officially survived the first non-football Sunday of the next six months. Half a year without a single NFL snap, touchdown, breakaway run, celebration dance, A.J. Brown book rec ... A dopamine drought, if you will. And it's totally fine. 

I'm fine.

We're fine!!

cooter doodle

In fact, we’re doing so well that I’ve decided to make a list of people who are doing MUCH WORSE than we are right now. Check out these losers: 

Aaron Rodgers' Agent

With the NY Jets finally announcing their breakup with Aaron Rodgers on Thursday, the world the nation the league some people have been dying to talk about where Rodgers might end up next. 

But after a lackluster 2024 season that resulted in a 5-12 record for New York (tied with the Saints—who went on a seven-week losing spree!), A-Rod’s agent is going to desperately need to roll up his sleeves and get to work on this one. Because I’m just not sure how you can make it look like Rodgers came out on top.

"My client has shown incredible consistency throughout his time in New York. He has lost games with the players that he requested to be hired AND with the coaches that he demanded to be fired."

-Aaron Rodgers' Agent grasping at straws, probably

Yeah … Good luck, buddy. You also might want to get a handle on this “Aaron Rodgers Grovels On Hands and Knees” narrative, while you’re at it.

Giants Fans

No, no, no! I promise I am not here to rub more salt in the Saquon Barkley-sized wound left in the Giants' roster. I swear. Everybody already knows that Barkley was a former first-round draft pick for the Giants who moved on to win a Super Bowl with, well … NOT the Giants.

But did you know that there are others?!

If the Giants had a dollar for every time their first-round draft pick won a Super Bowl WITH A DIFFERENT TEAM in the last five years, they’d have five dollars. Which isn’t a lot ... but it’s weird that it’s happened five f*cking years in a row, right??

  • Jason Pierre-Paul: Drafted 1.15 by NYG in 2010. Super Bowl LV victory with TB.

  • Odell Beckham Jr.: Drafted 1.12 by NYG in 2014. Super Bowl LVI victory with LAR.

  • Kadarius Toney: Drafted 1.20 by NYG in 2021. Super Bowl LVII victory with KC.

  • Kadarius Toney: Again. Super Bowl LVIII victory with KC.

  • Saquon Barkley: Drafted 1.02 by NYG in 2018. Super Bowl LIX victory with PHI.

Yikes… Check on your friends who are Giants fans. 

But hey, at least they’re doing much worse than we are! Right?

Just 28 more Sundays until September …

Quench Your Hard-Earned Thirst With Mike’s Hard Lemonade 🍋

The NFL season has wrapped up, and for some, it's celebration—while for others, it was a tough ride. No matter how your team finished, Mike’s Hard Lemonade is here to remind you: Hard Days Deserve a Hard Lemonade.

MIKE’S IS HARD. SO IS PRISON, DON’T DRIVE DRUNK® PREMIUM MALT BEVERAGE. ALL REGISTERED TRADEMARKS, USED UNDER LICENSE BY MIKE’S HARD LEMONADE CO., CHICAGO, IL

Top 18 NFL Draft QB Rankings: Could Jalen Milroe Rise Up?

Live. Laugh. Love QBs. They make the NFL world spin. And when it comes to NFL Draft coverage, it all starts and ends with the signal-callers. To throw our collective firewood on the open flame that is the NFL hype machine, Thor Nystrom ranked the top 18 quarterbacks before the NFL Combine (which takes place in a couple weeks).

These ranks could change after a few days in Indianapolis—looking at you Jalen Milroe—though they are explained with a blend of film study and analytics. Enjoy!

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Team Needs

Sure, the 2024 Tampa Bay Buccaneers looked like kings among men compared to the rest of their rivals in the NFC South. But being the only team in your division with a winning record (10-7) is nothing to write home about. If the Bucs hope to be the best in the league, they first have to become the best in their conference. Ian Hartitz breaks down what Tampa needs to get there.

On the first football-free weekend since early August, we touched some grass and reintroduced ourselves to our families:

🏆 Did we mention our 2024 FSWA award finalists? You may recognize them …

🎉 From whistles to wedding bells. Congratulations, Terry McLaurin!

👏 The Jags are still looking for a GM. And then there were five …

🤔 Bijan or Bowers? Malik or BTJ? So many tough choices.

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