Playing Dead Money Ball

Dolphins swimming in uncharted waters

What do Hans Gruber (Die Hard), Artax (The Never Ending Story), the Old Taylor (Swift) and $175M of Miami's monies have in common?

Oh … THEY'RE DEAD.

Miami's dead money is the highest single-season total in NFL history, and I can't stop thinking about it. 

  • Tua Tagovailoa: ~$99.2M

  • Tyreek Hill: $28.2M

  • Jaylen Waddle: $26.3M

  • Jalen Ramsey: $20.9M

  • There's more, but I need to save my bullet quota for later on

Hey, Dolphins …

While the Dolphins are poised to tank themselves into oblivion and start gunning for the 1.01 in 2027, I'm not yet fully convinced that tanking is the plan. Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic or maybe I just want to believe in the sanctity of always giving a damn, but I'm choosing to see the light at the end of the $175M hole. 

For starters, Miami signed Malik Willis to a three-year $67.5m deal. But they've also quietly been stacking the chips in their favor in draft capital (despite 2026's less-than-stellar class). 

The Timeline: 

  • April 2025: During last year's draft, MIA acquired a 2026 third-round pick from the Texans.

  • November 2025: MIA traded its LB Jaelan Phillips to the Eagles for a 2026 third-round pick. 

  • March 2026: MIA acquired a 2026 first-round and 2026 third-round pick from DEN in exchange for Jaylen Waddle (plus swapped fourths).

The way it all shakes out, Miami now has seven picks in the first three rounds:

  • Round 1: No. 11, No. 30 (DEN)

  • Round 2: No. 43 

  • Round 3: No. 75, No. 87 (PHI), No. 90 (HOU), No. 94 (DEN)

The timeline doesn't scream "tank" to me, as much as it screams "Damn, we f*cked up. Let's cut our losses. We'll figure out the cap casualties later." 

The Dolphins are essentially the living, breathing Dick Vitale meme, hugging tight to their tummy medicine as they watch the next season unfold. 

Naive or not, I'm choosing to believe they still have some dog in this fight. Buttt if news breaks of a De'Von Achane trade or if the Dolphins start to sell off their 2026 picks … Then yeah, sorry. I can't keep defending you guys.

🍋 🏈 Go Hard or Go Home!

The NFL Draft is coming faster than a blazing 40 time, and that means one thing—it’s time to GO HARD. The stakes haven’t been higher for the draft prosects who are about to have their NFL dreams come true. Whether you’re reading our draft content on your phone or watching player highlights from your couch, Mike’s Hard Lemonade is right there with you. Cold. Hard. Refreshing. GO HARD. Grab a Mike’s. Nobody Makes Lemonade Like Mike.

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Editors’ Picks

Happy Spring! To our friends in the Northeast, trust us, it’ll be here soon. Hopefully. If you’re indoors or outdoors, here’s some content you can’t miss …

Any potential breakout WRs to keep an eye on in dynasty startup drafts? Sam Wallace has a few players he’s looking for in the latter rounds of drafts.

Don’t sleep on the Bills after they finished second in the AFC East. Kody Malstrom examined the win totals bets for NFL teams.

NFL Draft

Jeremiyah Love Rookie Super Model Profile

It’s time for the running backs to get under the Rookie Super Model microscope. Dwain McFarland has emerged from the lab and is starting at the top. Notre Dame’s Jeremiyah Love is the consensus top RB in the class, and the only one expected to go in the first round of the NFL Draft. One look at Love’s profile and it becomes pretty clear that all those big hurdles and long runs put him in an elite class of backs.

Dwain pointed to a couple key metrics that show how far Love has come in his three seasons in South Bend:

While the model doesn't account for year-over-year improvement, Love is an ascending talent. He upped his YPTA and RYPTPA each year:

  • 2023: 0.69 YPTA, 0.24 RYPTPA (15% snaps, 17% designed attempts, 13% routes)

  • 2024: 1.52 YPTA, 0.51 RYPTPA (50% snaps, 30% designed attempts, 33% routes)

  • 2025: 2.56 YPTA, 0.86 RYPTPA (66% snaps, 48% designed attempts, 44% routes)

His Year 3 YPTA ranks 16th out of 271 prospects since 2017.

ICYMI: Here are the RSM profiles for Wide Receivers and Tight Ends.

Fantasy

Getting Bold: Omarion Hampton Rides High

It’s time to get BOLD. It may be March, but it’s never too early to look 6+ months into the future and set the feet down on a certain stance. Adam Pfeifer does just that in highlighting five players set to either break out or disappoint in the 2026 season. One of the players Adam focuses in on is RB Omarion Hampton, who was on his way to a big season when injuries felled the Chargers, to their starting offensive tackles and to Hampton himself. With a return to health expected all around, and the addition of a certain OC, big things are coming for Hampton:

Another welcome sight is the addition of Mike McDaniel as offensive coordinator. One of the best run-game designers in football, McDaniel has gotten elite fantasy production from the likes of De’Von Achane (17.3 PPG as a rookie), Raheem Mostert (21 touchdowns and 17.9 PPG) in Miami, while the 49ers' run game was extremely efficient during McDaniel’s time as the run-game coordinator/offensive coordinator from 2018-2021. And that was with the likes of Matt Breida, Jeff Wilson and Elijah Mitchell. Hampton is set to see more movement, motion, screens and schemed touches in this offense, all of which are conducive to fantasy success. 

Can a young QB make the big leap to achieving QB1 status? ⤵️

Fantasy

Around the Watercooler

The latest fantasy and NFL gossip, news, memes and more from our merry band of football nerds …

🏴‍☠️ Who’s the most draftable Bucs WR? Don’t forget 2024.

⬆️⬇️ Won’t be waiting long to draft JSN. ADP Risers and Fallers.

🤔 Jahmyr Gibbs or Bijan Robinson at the 1.01? What a choice.

💪 Eli Stowers leads a group of 20. Tight End Rookie Super Model.

🍋 Hard to imagine anyone returning this Lemon. No matter who’s picking.

🔔 Bhayshul Tuten RB1 szn is here and we’re all for it. Bell cow in Duuuuval?

🦅 Saquon Barkley vs. Logan Paul. Worst thing ever.

UNTITLED: Draft Only 1 RB From These Backfields

In this week’s episode of Untitled, Kendall Valenzuela and cooterdoodle examine the split backfields (too many for our comfort) and who they’re drafting. Plus, are the Dolphins, Jets and Cardinals tanking? See what they have to say.👇🏼

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