💰 Justin Jefferson Got PAID

The only person happier than Vikings fans today? CeeDee Lamb…

In today’s Fantasy Life Newsletter presented by VantagePoint:

Most people’s answer for the single-best WR in the NFL got a BAG on Monday morning: Vikings WR Justin Jefferson signed a four-year, $140 million extension that includes $110 million guaranteed — making him the highest-paid non-QB … ever!

And deservingly so. The all-time leader at the position in career PPR points per game (19.6), even Jason Pierre-Paul doesn’t need more than one hand to count the number of WRs more productive than Jefferson since he entered the league:

Jefferson among all WRs with 100+ targets in 2020-2023:

• PFF receiving grade: 93.4 (No. 3)

• PPR points per game: 19.6 (No. 3)

• Yards per route run: 2.67 (No. 2)

• Yards per reception: 15.1 (No. 10)

• Receptions: 392 (No. 5)

• Receiving yards: 5,899 (No. 2)

• Receiving TDs: 30 (tied for No. 10)

You can read more on Jefferson’s fantasy outlook in our Vikings Team Preview, but spoiler alert: Fantasy Life’s consensus WR5 is locked in as his usual upside WR1 self despite the potential for No. 10 overall pick J.J. McCarthy and/or Sam Darnold to make life a bit tough in 2024. After all, just five of 41 No. 1 WRs with a full-time starting rookie QB went on to post top-12 PPR numbers since 2010, and, you know, Sam Darnold.

Here’s to hoping the JJ-to-JJ connection proves fruitful in fantasy land before too long. It’s not like Jefferson needs pristine accuracy in order to make big plays anyway.

Speaking of news that isn’t all that surprising…

🎤 Giants TE Darren Waller tentatively expected to retire.

ESPN’s Jordan Raanan said it “would be a pleasant surprise if he decided otherwise.” It’s unclear if Waller will make the announcement via another … interesting music video.

While many (okay, at least me) still have a rather bad taste in our mouths from drafting Waller WAY to often in 2023 fantasy drafts, let’s not forget the man overcame a LOT to reach the heights he did — all the credit in the world to the two-time top-three fantasy TE for scoring more PPR points than anyone not named Travis Kelce during the 2019 and 2020 seasons.

The Giants will likely turn to a committee approach in Waller’s absence. It’d be pretty cool if rookie athletic FREAK Theo Johnson manages to carve out something resembling a full-time pass-down role, but betting on rookie fourth-round TEs seldom works out in fantasy land, and the more likely scenario is the Penn State product rotates with guys like Daniel Bellinger, Jack Stoll and Chris Manhertz.

The real story here: How many targets is Malik Nabers about to get? Well, Fantasy Life Projections have the explosive No. 6 overall pick earning a whopping 131 pass-game opportunities in year one — not too shabby for the WR20 in early Underdog ADP.

Want to hear about another potential value?

👀 You’ve heard it before... “Don’t beat around the bush”

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🙏 RIP to legendary Cowboys OL Larry Allen. The team’s statement and one of the best highlights you’ll ever see.

🐻 All the notes you need on Chicago’s new offense. They’re ready to take over the NFC North. 

👀 The 49ers added to their TE room. 32 years young.

😃 This RB expects to be used like CMC this year. The new head coach gets it.

🐦 Greg Dortch propaganda? Greg Dortch propaganda.

💰 The NBA Finals are going to be wild. Here’s how to cash in on all the action.

🤣 Mac Jones is embracing his newfound role as the goofy backup QB. Still doesn’t have anything on Jameis.

🍔 Anthony Richardson weighs how much?! Maybe now the Injury Gods will chill out.

🤔 Can you guess who has scored the most TDs since 2015? 93 trips to the end zone!

It may still be the offseason, but we're always plugged in. Cooterdoodle is here to keep our minds in check by asking the age-old, evergreen question: “What Now?”

😥 What Now? Be a Glutton for Punishment

Unless you’re somehow batting one thousand, you’re well aware that fantasy football is not always fun and games. But if you’re open to it, we can find some value in the darkest of moments. 

Here’s to finding pleasure in the pain!

😩 Out of Commission

If you’re really looking to punish yourself, have you considered being a league commissioner?

I’m kidding! Well, kind of. Imagine the torture of trying to wrangle everyone into:

• Agreeing on a draft date/time

• Paying their dues

• Setting their lineups weekly

• Completing their punishments/side bets

• Agreeing to approve trades

• Sticking around year after year

It’s terrible. You should try it!

⏰ People Don't Forget

The clock is ticking on this one. Because it doesn’t matter how avoidance-prone you are, people don’t forget.

Most leagues draft in August, which means you’re officially on a double-digit daily countdown to complete old punishments. And even if your league is too kind to hound you about it, I’m not.

So let me give it to you straight: You’re ruining everything. A league is only as strong as its weakest link. If you agreed to a punishment, it’s time to pay up … or I highly suggest your commissioner fill your spot with someone who stands by their word.

And if you don’t have league punishments, what are you waiting for?

😖 Comfort Zones Be Damned

I know your league has been doing things this way “forever”, but that doesn’t mean you have to be stagnant. Variety is the spice of life, right?

Step out of your comfort zone and try something new. 

• 12-team league? Try 14

• PPR? Try TE premium

• Standard lineups? Try Superflex

• Decrease bench size, Eliminator Leagues, Dynasty…

If there’s a rule for it, it can be changed. Come onnnn, try something harder.

🩹 Open Old Wounds

Here’s another challenge for you. Try strolling down memory lane and opening the old drafting software.

Hindsight is 20/20, but an old draft can bring you to your knees.

It’s the gut punch that keeps on giving. Open the old wounds and soak in your:

• Busts

• Missed opportunities to snipe

• Panic picks

And if you’re really kinky, check out your old trades. Because those always went the way you expected them to, right? RIGHT?

Sometimes the only way to get over something is to go right through it. Embrace the pain! Be a glutton for punishment.